For those of us that just can't turn our eyes away from car wrecks, we are sure getting an eyeful at BonsaiTalk, and even more so at BonsaiNut, where the nuts are truly running the show. It's amazing how just a few aggressive personalities can hijack a forum. You don't need talent, skill, writing ability, or even know anything about bonsai or horticulture to be a star. You just need the juevos to attack someone in public. The nice thing is that no one gets bloody in these duels, but that's also the bad thing. If you said these kinds of things in a bar, there would be bloody noses for sure.
Now, I don't really mind these flame wars per se. Often it's the only good entertainment your can get if you don't have cable. The problem is the chilling effect it has on intelligent discussion and debate. Most knowledgeable people with a modicum of self respect decency wouldn't be caught dead near one of these battles. Sadly, there are few knowledgeable people who are sucked in and their public, if not their own image suffers for it.
I'm not sure what it is that won't allow someone to let an insult pass. I have the same problem with tailgaters when driving. It has taken an enormous mental effort for me to just pull over and let them fly by. I try all sorts of remedies like saying "Just thank god they are ahead of me and not behind me when they self destruct", and "I'm so glad that I'm not in that mind frame anymore". It doesn't really work, but I am getting better at it anyhow. Clearly, the forums are populated with a huge number of tailgaters as well as annoyed slowpokes.
I guess you just have to have an enormous amount of self confidence of let an insult pass. Either that or such an enormous amount of ego, that it just runs off like summer rain on duck feathers. I don't really get the feeling that the players really enjoy the verbal dueling. I know that the few times that I 'lost it' on the forums, I felt miserable about it. It makes you kind of nutz and you start obsessing about what your next line of attack will be. It's not really a battle of wits, or not often at least, because most of the players are half wits. It's just that once they bite you in the butt, they metaphorically won't let go. Either responding, or not responding, they have their teeth sunk in your dignity.
The answer of course is simple, although the execution is well nigh impossible. And that is not to play the game. Like tic tac toe, every game is a draw, no one ever really wins. The only way to win is not to play the game. People push your buttons? Well, they are your buttons. Take responsibility for your buttons and pull the wires if you don't want the lights flashing. It's not someone else's fault that you have buttons, it's yours.
In a sense this is a cultural problem. The culture of the internet is still in its very early days. This is a whole new form of communication, a wonderful and yet evil way of getting your voice out to the entire world, literally. This has never happened before. We are limited by only the force of intellect and cleverness. Any Joe Blow can be read by thousands, if not millions, if he is clever enough to package an irresistible message. This has mostly been manifested through the blogosphere. That's what you are doing right now- reading my ramblings on a blog, albeit a diminutive effort read by only about 150 folks a day.
So, how do we put some civility in the internet culture? It's pretty clear in the barroom culture, that if you mouth off, you get your nuts cracked. But that doesn't work here. Will the ultimate nature of the internet be uncivil simply because there isn't any corporal punishment? Is banning the trolls and flame throwers the answer? I don't know. I don't like banning people. Some of the very best bonsai and horticultural stuff on the forums has come from 'heated' debates, mostly early in the cycle, which then quickly degrades into useless flame wars.
Another old saying, but not as difficult to execute is "What you feed, grows". Now this is something that might truly become part of the internet awareness without too much difficulty. It would work like this. Granted, we can't avert our eyes from the wreck, fine, but we don't need to stand around getting in the cop's way, trying to separate the parties, etc. Instead we just watch. Once the thread disintegrates into pointless flame throwing, everyone just steps back and watches, no one other than the perps participates. Yes, there is still an audience, but without additional fuel, or fresh meat, they just knock themselves out. We may watch, but we really don't care, and after awhile we will even tire of watching. Of course, this won't happen just because it's a good idea. But it may happen as the internet audience gets more 'mature'. That is, after watching so many flame wars and realizing the ultimate end is always going to be ashes, not knowledge, we just cut and run, show over.
Meanwhile, if any of the perps are reading this, I hope you get the idea that a good deal of introspection is called for. And if you are just an innocent bystander, please consider just driving on next time you encounter a wreck.